WHY ONLY YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE KIDS
My granddaughter, Genevieve, is visiting tonight and I thought we'd have some bath bonding time. We stayed in until we were freezing prunes but we had a blast. I realize that I'm opening myself up to shock, horror, legal prosecution and stoning - but I did it. I took a bath with a baby. Moving on to why ONLY THE YOUNG should have children: Obviously I wasn't thinking clearly when I put a naked and dripping Genevieve out of the tub first and toweled her peach fuzz a little bit (only for her own self esteem and a feeling of fitting in, not because there's actually any hair there) and prepared to get out myself. Drippy McNaked, who has recently learned to walk, saw her opportunity for liberation and took it, sans towel. She split. The dogs, who had been in attendance for the bath, were delighted to watch Drippy tearing out of there like her hair was on fire and chased behind her in her puddle of water. I didn't want her to fall and get hurt or eat anything not meant for human consumption before I could get to a towel for myself, so I - her equally naked and dripping 45 year old grandmother without the benefit of towel-dried hair - took off after her and hilarity ensued. Me chasing the dogs chasing her. One of us busted. Genevieve watched me peel myself off the kitchen floor, and when our eyes met, she and I had a mutual understanding that I would pay in the morning for my inability to take a decent fall. I grabbed the baby (FYI they're slick when you're both wet) and got us both toweled off and her put to bed without her supper. Just kidding about that part. It was funny after the fact and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. I will write tomorrow about my sore muscles and aching bones from my chase-and-bust. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why only the young should have children.
